Drive by Profiling (pt 3) – WJI

Our last students…

Sarah is long-suffering. She endured much of my angst and my blithering methods of stress relief (there may have been a lot of random explosions into Shakespearean verse and talk of spirit animals. In her own words, Sarah is a horse.).

She always knows the right series of questions to pursue and actually has the guts to pursue it. Even with police officers.

Sarah should do grand at her broadcast internship as she is curious and brave and beautiful.

It wasn’t until the second week that I learned Onize is actually a Jupiterian. So many things make sense now.

Onize and I arrived a day early, wandered the streets, ate breakfast as it grew dark, and began to speak of the world (chiefly my little town, Ukraine, and Nigeria, the country Onize uses as a cover story for her origins).

Onize is, simply, grand. I already miss her exceedingly. She works hard, she lets you eat almost all the almonds, she lets you come to Mass with her (and then walks to a Presbyterian church with you), has an uncanny talent for living off poptarts, and a humility/willingness to give others encouragement/credit that deserves many pulls of her extraordinary hair (actually, probably deserves something more like $$$$$ and a Nobel Peace Prize, but I am intrigued by the elasticity of her hair).

She will also humor you while you spar with monopods. 

God will use Onize. ❤

Sandy is already a fulltime employee at WORLD, but wanted to improve her writing skills, so joined us unruly children in the trenches. Besides being kind and good, she endeared herself to us eternally and renewed our spirits by the constant application of nuts, sour patch kids, hard candy, popcorn, hot lunches, chips, and emergency medicine runs…

But she did not write a blog, so you are left with many questions about her personality and template choices.

Jae. Jae is undauntable, gloriously grit-filled, and eye-brighteningly propelled by Jesus love. She also originates from a town a few hours south of me and understands all things Portland and west coastian.

Jae is one of those writers who gets in the zone. What do I mean, you ask? While, common symptoms include falling into a state of trembles, tearing of the hair, impulsive ordering of library books, cries of anguish, narrowing of the eyes, clutching of the head or nose, and, in acute cases, temporary death. If you see these signs, lean back. You can be sure something brilliant is coming to fruition.

I think Jae had the most honed, clear cut goal and future in her mind when she came to WJI. In her best moments, she continues with eyes forward, equipment on her back as she stretches onward, taking every seeming brick wall in her path, one step/ax whack at a time.

Such intensity will, no doubt, aid her as she becomes a first-class investigative reporter. After a life bringing down the sex-trade, much like a more petite, laudanum-less, more illustriously be-ponytailed William Wilberforce, she will retire to the relaxed life of a professional soccer player.

My respek to you all, fellow comrades. And deep thanks for being patient with me in close and diverse circumstances.


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